femmecomplexe

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

In Anecdotes on December 5, 2010 at 10:28 am

Texas A&M, the university that I attend, and if you knew me you’d probably question why, but that’s not important.  If you weren’t aware A&M is quite conservative, we have people selling shirts that say “Guns Save Lives” – promoting the legislation that will allow concealed hand guns on campus, and female students who won’t buy shirts that said “Aggie Women Est1963” because it’s too feminist.  How? I have no idea.  You’re a woman and an Aggie (since you attend this University), and you weren’t allowed to attend until 1963 when A&M became coed…so what’s the big deal? Silly girls here with their running shorts and straightened hair pulled into messy buns, wearing their pearl earrings and Sperry’s along with their Northface fleece and perfectly applied makeup.  As one male friend once said to me “Now I’m not gay, but I do know a thing or two about women’s fashion, and it’s not ok to pair pearl earrings with a T-shirt.” And yet, that is the uniform for many female students, who actually have a fear of being seen as a feminist because that word has negative connotations around here. 

Probably because men are afraid of feminists and if guys don’t like feminists then they wouldn’t be able to find a boyfriend, get married and have babies (since A&M is notorious for allegedly pumping out women with their teaching degrees who just want to have babies, but need to do something to support themselves until a man comes along.  I’ve actually heard more than one girl say this, and I have a friend who graduated with a teaching degree, who had more friends who graduated with teaching degrees…but I don’t know if that’s why they did it.  Are we still in the day and age where women come to college to get their MRS degree? Ugh, that thought somewhat disturbs me.  Perhaps it’s because we’re in the South.  Actually, the other day my friend Facebook messaged me (Gosh, I know, Facebook is taking over our lives) and at the end of it she wrote: “I just found out that this girl in my class is married. MARRIED! I guess it’s not too unusual in Texas haha but here in the north it’s crazy.”

And engagement rings are a pretty common item to see on a girl’s finger as well.  At work I was talking with another coworker and I was ringing up a female customer who was wearing an engagement ring – for some reason it didn’t really register (usually it doesn’t because I guess I’m not really thinking about that stuff) – and when the customer walked about the female coworker was all, “If I see another engagement ring I’m going to scream”, which then prompted our discussion about marriage and how everyone at A&M feels obligated to get engaged before they graduate so that they can get married afterwards and then start popping out those babies and teasing their dyed blond hair into great volumes, cooking meals and getting manicures during the day and running errands in track suits.  Perhaps I’m being too judgmental, they’re simply products of society, like every thing else.  They simply were raised around much of the same society and therefore find it more difficult to separate the ideas of their family and friends from their own thoughts, until they become one and the same.  That’s why racism is still kind of present down here.  When I first came to Texas I was surprised by this and how people in the US are separated and categorized and identified based on their race (I had forgotten this, and yes it’s done elsewhere in the world, but not one made up of so many races).  I thought people were just people, but I guess I was wrong…

I think it goes back to that idea of – either I marry this girl who I’ve been dating forever or we break up, and with graduation looming ahead and the thought of never seeing eachother again…marriage it is.  And I suppose once you’ve been with someone for so long you should love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them and if you don’t then you shouldn’t be in that relationship.  I think people are afraid of being alone.

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