femmecomplexe

Let Go

In Anecdotes on October 12, 2010 at 5:33 pm

I know it seems I’m just going on and on with the depressing stuff, but last night I watched a Life Time movie, “Reviving Ophelia”, about an abusive high school relationship and it’s scary to think that stuff like that happens everyday.  According to national statistics, “every 12 seconds, a woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend, and approximately 1 in 5 female high school students reports being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.” (http://www.sccadvasa.org/articles/59.pdf) The scariest part is that it’s hard to leave that person because the victim is made to believe that they can’t live without them – that their abuser loves them, and won’t do it again…until the next time that is.  (http://www.mylifetime.com/movies/reviving-ophelia)

There’s this one line in the movie, when the students’ English teacher is discussing Hamlet from Shakespeare, and says, “according to Shakespeare, love and murder often go hand in hand.” So is love supposed to hurt? Are we just supposed to assume that if we’re in a relationship we’re going to abused? I’m sorry but that’s not good enough for Shakespeare.  Yes, I know it’s hard to deal with people and having working relationships, but no way in hell, should physical or verbal abuse be apart of that.  The new Eminem song, “I love the way you lie” seems to be a good example of this.  It represents a really violent relationship, but one that they can’t get out of.  How do people, especially women, get to that point where they’re so dependent on someone that they disregard their personal safety, not to mention what it does to those who care about you.

No matter how many times I hear or try to understand the reasoning behind abusive relationships, I can never wrap my head completely around it.  I know it can be easy to fall into self-deprecation and abuse, but to allow yourself to be beaten is entirely another matter.  Our society has a major problem with making girls feel they have to have man or they’re useless as females.  It’s a disgusting mindset, and can lead to tragic consequences.  But how to change that? People have to be strong for themselves.  Go to therapy if you need a little initiative. I guess it’s like breaking a bad habit, and learning to let go.  Start with baby steps and work your way up. 

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